After talking with a friend who described a guy she recently went on a date with as “to nice” I started racking my brain for reasons girls flock to “The Bad Boy” and cast away “The Nice Guy”.
He’s confident, he’s witty, he’s strong, and he’s unpredictable, we can smell how wrong he is for us a mile away, knowing he has the potential to crush our hearts. But we still want him and fall for his charm every single time. We want him as bad as we want those new Manolo Blahnik’s at Niemen’s to go on sale or another Louis Vuitton bag we know we can’t afford, will for sure put a dent in our bank account, but still buy!
He’s “THE BAD BOY”
He’s corny, he’s predictable, and he yes’s us to death. We are bored by his lame attempts to compliment us every two minutes, he doesn’t have a mind of his own and our thoughts and opinions become his. The thought of hair scrunchies coming back into style, or our favorite lip gloss being discontinued becomes more appealing than spending one more mundane minute with him.
HE’S “THE NICE GUY”
Men are classified in one of two categories “The Nice Guy” or “The Bad Boy” No little girls dream of one day meeting a boy that will make them cry, leave them waiting at home or playing guessing games. Nor do we pray for a guy who will bow to our every command and be our doormat. After coming to this easy conclusion, I realized we don't want either. We don't want the bad that comes with the bad, and we don't want the boredom that comes with the nice. We want a combination of the attributes both share. I am convinced “The Balanced Guy” exists!
Here is my perfect balance of the two!
Backbone: While the nice guy’s opinions become less and less his own and rather ours. , the so-called bad boy will challenge our thoughts and opinions, stimulate us mentally, but can sometimes be overbearing. We need a balanced man who will listen to our ideas and at the same time respect them.
Unpredictability: The nice guys tend to always say and do the same things, and it's boring. Taking us to the same restaurants, bringing up the same conversation topics. The bad boy is unpredictable, not afraid to take a chance on something new and different, but will most of the time forget about those few things we really do love. We need that balanced guy who will never forget those things we love to do, to talk about, but also isn’t afraid to switch it up, and be spontaneous.
Confidence: Bad boys can definitely be ********, but they're confident ********. They know what they like, and are not afraid to make it known. There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a man that doesn’t know what to do or what he wants. Someone who needs constant guidance on reaching a decision. This only tells us you will not be fun in, nor make it to the one room of our houses your dying to be in. That guy that has the perfect balance will want your opinion and take it into consideration but knows when he won’t need it and can make the decision for himself or for the both of you.
Strength: No matter how independent we can be, women still want to feel safe. We want to be protected. Bad boys seem to project this safety net quality through sheer toughness, but sensitivity can get lost in the roughness. Nice guys come across as weak with their constant pursuit to agree, and please. That balanced guy will have the strength to take us under his wing and protect us through the hard times along with knowing how to use the right words that will comfort us.
So to all you men who fall under the “Balanced” category come out come out wherever you are. They myth of your existence needs to be brought to life!
And for you men who think you need to be the "Bad Boy" to get the girl, become "THE BALANCED" GUY!!!!!
He’s confident, he’s witty, he’s strong, and he’s unpredictable, we can smell how wrong he is for us a mile away, knowing he has the potential to crush our hearts. But we still want him and fall for his charm every single time. We want him as bad as we want those new Manolo Blahnik’s at Niemen’s to go on sale or another Louis Vuitton bag we know we can’t afford, will for sure put a dent in our bank account, but still buy!
He’s “THE BAD BOY”
He’s corny, he’s predictable, and he yes’s us to death. We are bored by his lame attempts to compliment us every two minutes, he doesn’t have a mind of his own and our thoughts and opinions become his. The thought of hair scrunchies coming back into style, or our favorite lip gloss being discontinued becomes more appealing than spending one more mundane minute with him.
HE’S “THE NICE GUY”
Men are classified in one of two categories “The Nice Guy” or “The Bad Boy” No little girls dream of one day meeting a boy that will make them cry, leave them waiting at home or playing guessing games. Nor do we pray for a guy who will bow to our every command and be our doormat. After coming to this easy conclusion, I realized we don't want either. We don't want the bad that comes with the bad, and we don't want the boredom that comes with the nice. We want a combination of the attributes both share. I am convinced “The Balanced Guy” exists!
Here is my perfect balance of the two!
Backbone: While the nice guy’s opinions become less and less his own and rather ours. , the so-called bad boy will challenge our thoughts and opinions, stimulate us mentally, but can sometimes be overbearing. We need a balanced man who will listen to our ideas and at the same time respect them.
Unpredictability: The nice guys tend to always say and do the same things, and it's boring. Taking us to the same restaurants, bringing up the same conversation topics. The bad boy is unpredictable, not afraid to take a chance on something new and different, but will most of the time forget about those few things we really do love. We need that balanced guy who will never forget those things we love to do, to talk about, but also isn’t afraid to switch it up, and be spontaneous.
Confidence: Bad boys can definitely be ********, but they're confident ********. They know what they like, and are not afraid to make it known. There is nothing less attractive to a woman than a man that doesn’t know what to do or what he wants. Someone who needs constant guidance on reaching a decision. This only tells us you will not be fun in, nor make it to the one room of our houses your dying to be in. That guy that has the perfect balance will want your opinion and take it into consideration but knows when he won’t need it and can make the decision for himself or for the both of you.
Strength: No matter how independent we can be, women still want to feel safe. We want to be protected. Bad boys seem to project this safety net quality through sheer toughness, but sensitivity can get lost in the roughness. Nice guys come across as weak with their constant pursuit to agree, and please. That balanced guy will have the strength to take us under his wing and protect us through the hard times along with knowing how to use the right words that will comfort us.
So to all you men who fall under the “Balanced” category come out come out wherever you are. They myth of your existence needs to be brought to life!
And for you men who think you need to be the "Bad Boy" to get the girl, become "THE BALANCED" GUY!!!!!
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5 comments:
Siiiick post MZ, finally a girl that tells it like it is. Couldn't agree more hun.
This is a very disappointing blog post. As a domestic violence advocate for 17 years, I have had a lot of experience working with women who go for (and are beaten by) the "bad man".
It's a witty piece, but I wouldn't use it as an advice column for my daughter.
When I proposed to my wife, I promised her Love, Honor, Respect and Trust. Perhaps we can have a blog on that?
I don;t think you read the enite piece if you think I am promoting the "bad boy" I am promoting The "balanced Guy" This is based on my own trials and tribulations. Not alll the "bad boys" are violent, and this is not an advice blog whatsoever.
My attention span is just fine. I read the whole piece. Of course you are describing your balanced man.
But one of the standard techniques taught to people who batter others is to place their behavior on a continuum. Being at peace is on the left and murder/suicide is on the right. Between is verbal insults, emotional abuse, pushing/shoving, punching, kicking, striking with an object and using a weapon.
It is amazing how quickly one moves from left to right in a relationship once "being bad" begins.
Seeking the "balanced man" is an impetus to move from left to right on the continuum.
Uhmm yeah, well to be honesst your comments are far to deep and serious for my blog. Like I said, my blogs are based MY OWN trials and tribulations and it is not an advice pice for battered women nor men who batter them.
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